What does success mean in the 21st century? Is it
putting your kids through college so they have better opportunities than you
did? Is it working hard and getting the promotion that you wanted? Is it
turning your phone off and taking an hour to yourself to read a novel or go for
a walk? Yes. Success is all these things. As society would tell us, a “success
story” is someone who worked hard to get to where he or she is. But that is not
the only definition of success.
The truth is that people define success based on their
values. While working hard and achieving a goal is very much America’s classic
definition of success and internalized by many Americans, such a definition
merely reflects the value of hard work. But for those of us who do not value
work as the be-all and end-all of existence – for those who value time with
family or reading Tolstoy, for example – success is time spent in such
activities as our values designate.
Author of The Black
Swan and philosopher Nassim Taleb posted
recently: "What we commonly call ‘success’ (rewards, status,
recognition, some new metric) is a consolation prize for those both unhappy and
not good at what they do." There is much truth to this, but we need not be
so cynical about human nature. He grounds his argument in that most people do
not enjoy their work, but make it meaningful by setting goals and celebrating
their accomplishments as successes – effectively taking recourse in surrogate
enjoyment though it is a thin veil over the truth of their feelings of
inadequacy in failing to self-actualize. Why else would midlife crises be so
commonplace?
But I think rather than reducing success to a consolation
prize it would be more helpful to draw attention to the fact that success is
relative and based on personal values. In our society, when asked about
ourselves, we commonly give our name followed by our occupation. This directly
reflects our work as the highest social value since it follows directly after
our name. Naturally, we identify by what we hold dear. Yet if we can learn
anything from the late Senator Bobby Kennedy, who said that the gross national product “measures everything…
except that which makes life worthwhile,” perhaps we should adjust our values
to reflect that which actually is worthwhile instead of what we tell ourselves
or let society tell us is worthwhile. A job is a means, not an end. We as a nation
would do well to remember that. Maybe then we will come to define success not
in terms of occupational work, but in terms of personal fulfillment in the
various facets of life.
A favorite professor of mine in college often warned his
class never to confuse passion and happiness with ambition and success. One is
real and the other is an illusion. But if we alter the way we define success in
such a manner and are passionate about life, happiness
can be our greatest success.
